Book Recommendations (30 Day Blogging Challenge #21)

Nov. 21's (belated) prompt:

List a book you are thankful to have read and how it has inspired you to be better at what you do.

In a previous prompt, I mentioned how Parker Palmer's book, The Courage to Teach, has helped me to be better about listening to my inner teacher, rather than living a divided and unbalanced life.

Once again, I would like to recommend this book to anyone who struggles with feelings of inadequacy, exhaustion, or any of the other harbingers of burn out.

The other titles that have helped me to reflect upon my practice, as well as my life in general, are both written by Brene Brown.  They are Daring Greatly and The Gifts of Imperfection.  Both of these books have changed my teaching and my outlook on life in ways too complex to articulate.

Give Yourself a Break (30 Day Blogging Challenge #20)

Nov. 20's (belated) prompt:

What is one life lesson that you are thankful for having learned?

One life lesson that I continue to learn is the importance of self-compassion.  As a recovering perfectionist, I often find myself obsessing over details and doing what Brene' Brown refers to as "hustling for worthiness." From the conversations I've had with others on this subject, I know that I am not alone.  

Three years ago, Dr. Ken Bergstrom shared some indelicate words of wisdom with me, which I have quoted here:

Over time, I have been learning to let go of the need for perfection in exchange for cultivating self-compassion.  Just because I've learned the lesson doesn't mean that I don't need constant reminders. Thankfully, Ken's words help me remember that we are all human and are doing the best we can.

Listening to my Inner Teacher (30 Day Blogging Challenge #3)

Today's prompt:

What are you most proud of to date in your teaching career?

   by  TRF_Mr_Hyde 

Back in September, while taking part in my first blogging challenge, I answered a question similar to this in another post.  I was asked to reflect upon an accomplishment that I held dear that might have been unknown to others. In the process, I recognized that I viewed my greatest professional achievement to be finding the courage to set myself on a new course for learning and personal discovery, after reluctantly concluding that I was no longer able to burn my candle at both ends.  Surprisingly, that uncharted course involved my taking a self-imposed sabbatical, without a plan B, much to the surprise of those with whom I worked.  Three years ago, I made the decision to resign at the end of my contract.

Since then, I have been in the midst of a transition. While I quickly concluded that I still feel called to teach, I am proud of myself for determining that I am able to approach it differently than I once did.

Since making that difficult decision, I've taken courses, tinkered, done some subbing, and taught a computer skills course for a year.  While I will admit that I've had intense pangs of regret that I didn't just ask for a year off, rather than deciding to make a clean break, I know that I needed to impose a period of dormancy upon myself in order to ensure that I was on the right path.  While it may sound weak or perplexing to those who may easily succeed at finding a balance that feeds them, I absolutely needed to remove myself from the responsibilities of being a full-time classroom teacher in order to know for sure that I actually need to teach. Teaching nourishes my soul, as long as I don't let it overshadow the other parts of my identity, such as being a wife, mother, and artist.  

Therein lies the paradox that Parker Palmer so eloquently describes in his book, The Courage to Teach. One of the best things that I've done for myself and my career has been participating in Northeast Courage and Renewal.  It helped me realize that I was not alone in my quest to find balance between my personal and professional lives.  It helped me understand that the reason I often felt so overwhelmed and exhausted was because I cared so much, and that my feelings of inadequacy had come from a place of not attending to my "inner teacher."  I'm not trying to suggest that I never fall back into the old habits of putting too many logs on my fire (please consider reading Judy Sorem Brown's beautiful poem on the importance of breathing space), but I am learning to practice self-compassion.  This will impact everything else about who I am as a teacher for the rest of my life.

I am proud of the ways that I've changed during this transition, and the ways that I've opened myself up to new opportunities and patterns of thinking.